I'm a mess and I can't even help it. The things I want the the most and work the most for get stolen from me all the time. I've taught myself not to expect to get the things I really want because... for me.  It almost never happens. Then I sit there and watch people just get things handed to them and just breeze through everything they do. The people that are naturally talented... I envy them so much. I don't get things easily. I can't just start something and be amazingly good at it. And practice... doesn't help me all the time. I physically and mentally have to work my ass off to do half the shit I do. And I don't understand why not one time I actually achieve something good... people could argue with me saying this isn't true but I don't believe that. Things.. just don't come naturally to me... nothing.. ever. And it just gets me so frustrated sometime. It make me want to stop trying and just give up. But I never have... I'm just waiting till the day I can be one of those people that everyone looks to for help because they're great at something. One day... maybe.