I'm thinking now and I can't help but realize something... that hes had me hooked since the day we met and he's had me hooked everyday since. I can't help but notice that in the back of my mind I've always known that. And I just have feeling in my gut that this is the reason anything horrible has ever happened to me... to make me unhappy. I just have feeling that I've been searching for the wrong reason to be happy when its been starring me straight in the face. And now that I did notice this... I'm scared shitless... I have no idea what to do.. I get nervous.. I have all these chances but I'm too scared to take them. This has never happened to me before. I've never had this problem.. but then again I haven't had many good reason to be like this. I wish I had a little more to go with... maybe then I'd get a little accomplished. But for once, I have absoluetly NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. I get nervous, those awkward moments happen. I mean it always seems like he has something more to say.. or that maybe he's waiting for something. Maybe we both are.