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So.. screw my last post. The first three days of my new year.. have completely sucked. I really give a shit anymore. If people really believe when I say that I don't cared they screw me over... then they're mentally retarded. Maybe I've been going about everything the wrong. Maybe I shouldn't even bother trying anymore. I have absolutely no idea who I am anymore. I have no idea what the fuck I do to people to make them completely drop me after I've tried so hard to be the friend I think they deserve... well you know what.. fuck them. I know for a fact I don't deserve half the bullshit that people put me through and I still continue to forgive and then act like it never happened and then it happens all over again. fuck that. I can't wait until the next year and half go by so I leave.. just get the hell out of here so I don't have to deal with all the bullshit in this stupid town. I hate it here... its weird... I use to love everything about it.
1 comment:
Could it be that the reason you take them back is because your afraid that they might leave you? You say you constantly feel lonely. So maybe your afraid that if you dont forgive them that they will leave you and then youll truly be alone with no place to go. So in order to prevent that you put up with there crapp? Yet when you do it kills you inside anyway because they treat you like crap. So your stuck. It kills you either way.
You have right to feel that way. To want to get out of here ( i feel the same way) because they'll never know what they have till its gone. In a new town you meet knew people who wont take advantage of you because they realize what they have found. Im really sorry that people do that. But it makes you the better and bigger person. Whenever I'm in a similar state i usually listen to music, here are some songs if you want and if they help. Hope it does. Getaway Car by tobymac, I know the feeling by The Classic crime ( listen to the words! recommended) and We could run away by Needtobreathe (also recommended)
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