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Can you really know everything about one person? No matter how long you've known someone and no matter how much you tell eachother there is always somethings you'll just never know. Theres so many things to learn about people that it could take a life time to actually know them. What you know about one person isn't necessarly who they really are. Someone can be someone completely different then they lead themselves to be and eventually they'll show it.
I find myself so lost sometimes. I don't know where I am.. where I'm going.. who's gonna be there when i get where ever there is. I don't know anything about myself anymore. I miss myself. The person who was fun... or whatever. I miss fun. I never have fun. I feel sooo disconnected from the world half the time... its like I'll never find someone.
My mom woke me up the other night... she told me I was screaming in my sleep. She stayed with me for a while to make sure I was okay then went back to bed. As soon as she left I started crying. I have no idea what I was dreaming.. not even a faint idea. It was probably one of the scariest things thats every happen to me I guess.. its completely unexplainable though... what could make me do that? I can't understand... I've never had an issue like that.. I mean yeah, when I was younger I talked in my sleep... but screaming? That completely scares the shit out of me.
2 comments:
I Don't know if it means anything but my heart physically hurt to read this. I refuse to sit here and tell you that we all go through this or that we all know how you feel because its a lie. As i read Kait I feel deadness. It hurts. Like my heart physcially hurts to see my friends (close or not) hurting. My best friend Carlos was just like that and worse in certain areas so i know how it looks from the outside in. I sense, loneliness, depravity, deadness, almost lunacy. And i want to help. I know how to but i dont know how to go about doing it... Im really sorry Kait. You are in my prayers
im leaving this annonymous but i think youll know who i am.. like i said before, i do understand. theres things that are so deep to me i cannot even tell to one person in my life no matter how close i am to them. there will be times when i want to talk to someone about something but i back down because im scared and i feel like ill mean nothing to them. i feel like the world expects more out of me but i dont know what. i have like one maybe two close friends because ive learned that no one is seriously there for you completely because things can change everyday unexpectedly. just like you, i feel like i have nothing. ive seen my life crash down before my eyes so much in the past two months with pretty much no one to turn to because no one understands the way i want and need them to. i feel like you out of all people can help me already because i know that im not alone. i swear to everything i love i have gone through most, maybe all of the things youve written in your blogs that i have seen. and to know im not the only one helps me already. i dont care who my friends are anymore. i feel like i wont ever makes one who will accept me, and i give up because whats the point? doesnt everyone always betray you in the end ? i feel like everyones life is moving on except mine because i dont know how to and it kills me deep inside. a lot of the times, i feel like reading your blogs is my last hope. evertime i read your blogs im always feeling some sort of pain. but after reading them, i feel so much better,and i love you sooo much for that. youre helping me so much without even knowing it and and i want to help you too.
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