here we go.

I don't know what to do anymore. I've never felt so alone. I've never been so depressed in all the years before this. I don't know why it happens and I don't ask for it. But I feel like when it does.... people give up on me. I feel like people don't want me around.... and it's true though... people don't want me around.. who would. I ruin everything. I'm an idiot. I say the stupidest things. And make the stupidest decisions. You've convinced me of that and I've convinced myself. I am a horrible person... alls I do is hurt people. I'm a bitch and a failure..... I can never keep anyone around. I never make anyone want to stick around. I just wanna go. I wanna just cut myself off from here. Leave for a little while. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't like crying.