thoughts that float through my mind

I don't know what to do anymore. My continues to spin more and more everyday. I'm searching for something to fill the empty space inside me but I don't even know what it is. I miss everything about being in a relationship but I don't want one. But I don't want just have a fling. I'm trying so hard to not get close to people that I know are just going to leave at the end of summer because every time I do they leave and I just don't exist anymore. Theres no point. Although I'm enjoying where I'm at... I'm still convinced I was born in the wrong year... I feel like for some reason I should be older than I am.... because I think so much different than half the people my age. However, I still have no idea what I want for myself and I still have no idea who I want in my life and how I don't because I can't just drop people thats just no me. I'm not that kind of person.. and I could never understand how you could just drop a friend. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know what to do with myself I feel the need to find... something or someone to fill the constant and utter void in my life. Although I constantly feel like somethings missing.. I'm not gonna lie.. I'm loving every second of every moment of my life right now. I'm just asking for a little more to love.