Pressure

Days move on and the years almost gone. I'm still searching, like always. I'm sure I'll reread this and decide that was the stupidest thing I've ever wrote. I don't swim anymore.... diving is my new thing... it's easier on my shoulders. I love it. Although I feel like I've been beaten up almost everyday, I couldn't be happier. I could get pretty good at it as long as I don't manage to get hurt in the process. I find myself wanting more than I have. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I want to have someone, I want to be good at something, I want to have a friend that doesn't ever lie to me, I want the simple things... how is it possible to love the simple things if you feel you don't have them? I keep going everyday trying my best to ignore all the people that silently judge me and the ones who don't. When it comes down to it, I'd admit that I'm a screw up most of the time but I'd also say that I don't deserve getting treated like shit most of the time especially by the people I help the most and actually believe are worth my time. I don't deserve anything less then what I give everyone else.