wanting

I find myself wanting the same things I always have wanted. Don't for second think I'm this girl who's completely depressed all the time.. because I'm defiantly not. I mean for the most the most part I'm a pretty happy person... I have a good life. Somethings however, just don't go the way I'd like them to. Thats why I write... thats why I have this. To just have something to release all the things I'm thinking of in one moment.. one entry. I find myself wanting the same thing everything a young girl would want at my age. Love, attention, friends, something to do, to get out of my house on weekends... I think you get the picture. I think that I've gone through many things that others of my age have not, making it impossible for some of them to understand. I've had my heart broken which was unwilling the fault of myself, I've seen more death and been to more funerals then many. Although I find the unexplainable thrilling... it still scares me to death. I've made mistakes my parents would kill me for and my friends would look down upon. I've gotten way less then I deserve and I've managed to get way more than I deserve at one moment or another. I've had friends screw me over and family disappoint me. I've disappointed many people in the past and I've defiantly had my share of screwing people over. If I could go back and change some of things I've done I probably would, not gonna lie. But I also remember that through everything negative thats happened in my life a couple positives have come out of it and I've managed to stay fairly happen after everything. Although I do have my moments were I just completely fall apart... but, who doesn't? I always remember theres so many people that have it worse than me... and thats why I find it necessary to help the people you love most.... change someones life.. at least one person, thats it. I wish there was any other way to explain to you how many people have impacted my life.. whether it be good or bad... I can thank them both. My blog defiantly give off this off this picture that my life is horrible and that I'm completely depressed.. but I'm not. I can say although my life has its downs I don't think I'd change who I've become because of it. The people who really care wouldn't want me any other way anyways.