How can I possibly begin to describe how I've been feeling lately......... alone. Basically I feel very friendless? I try my best but apparently my best isn't good enough for some people. The people that help the most tend to be the ones that let me down the most.. they aren't looking for my friendship.. they're just looking for an easy fix to there problems and nothing else. But still I continue to help because that what I like to do.. I don't even expect anything in return. Maybe I'm a bad friend or I'm just plain out boring... I've been thrown around and thrown out by so many people that thats all I can believe at this moment. This whole thing makes me want to get the fuck out of this place. Just leave... maybe someone will miss me then. But what am I suppose to do? Another year and a half and I can leave this place. Start everything over. Maybe then there will be some excitement in my life then. I can make some good friends but keep in touch with the few good ones I have now. Maybe then I can actually go out. Enjoy myself... instead of memorizing every inch of the wall of my house. I just wanna get away... because I'm getting nowhere where I'm at.