hmmm, i enjoy these days. these days are the ones i love. i'm the happiest i've been in forever... i can't find one flaw in my day. it feels so great to say that. even if my days are getting better and falling asleep calmly has become a routine.. i can't help but think that i'm still missing something.. maybe the one thing i've been looking for all along... but i can't quite put my finger on it. even when i'm happy i can't exactly figure out what it is that i really want... which... well it completely sucks. but as i sit here and wonder what it is i can't help but hope that something or someone will come around and help me figure out what i'm craving... help me figure out exactly what it is that i want. i'd like to say that i'd rather just role with it... and figure out this craving as i go alone but... its consuming my everyday life... in the back of my head. its just making me wonder what the hell it is that i want.. even though i have this weird feeling that it's starring me in the face or i already know i just can't come to admit it. but i guess for now i'll have to just continue to live in this fog that this want has rested over me and attempt to figure out where exactly i'm going and the hell it is thats leading me there... by when i think about it... i already think i know whats gonna be on the other side...