I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was a month ago. I only say this because I am completely happy now. I might be a little stressed out but thats just happens. I've decided this time around... that I'm not gonna let stupid things or stupid people bring me down. I wanna enjoy my life.. so stop trying to ruin precious moments. I already wasted basically wasted maybe certain moments of the last.. maybe year and a half. I'm not saying it was all bad... a lot of it was great. But  I use to look back at those times and be depressed because theres no way in hell that I could ever relive them or ever get them back now.. when I look back at most of those great times.. alls I can do is smile because although the last year and a half hasn't been the best for me.. those are the times that got me through it.. and no matter where I stand with those people at this moment... I can never thank them enough. I hopefully will never end up like that again.. I ruined a lot of good things for myself and shut a lot of great people out. I was basically killing myself. And I hope to god that none of my friends ever put themselves through that because it's completely not worth it. You miss so much and you loose so much and don't realize that until basically the time you stop crying about everything thats going wrong. To anyone who's going through it though.. let me tell you.. one day something will come along and things will start to chance for you. You'll feel 100% better about yourself. And you'll realize that its time to get your life back. Don't let anybody ruin this for no matter how much they mean't to you at one time. And don't try to find your own why back because we all need a little help from our friends.. and even if they don't seem like they wanna be around you anymore... they'll always be there for you when you want them to be. Trust me. You want to get your life back. You need to get yourself back.