These kinds of days are rather weird for me. Sometimes when I have a day when I hardly talk to anyone and I just drag myself around the house.. I feel completely and utterly alone... but then other times when I have days like that I feel completely at ease.. completely relaxed.. these are the days where i either feel my worst or i feel my absolute best. these are the days that make me feel the most human.. which is weird to say i guess. but maybe these are the days that make me.... who i am.
so today i was wondering... is it possible that you could be ruined for everyone else that comes your way? can one major sweep of depression change who you are so much that nobody will ever want you the same as before all the shit that caused it actually happened. can a row of completely of unfortunate series of events really ruin someone? can it really change them that much? maybe.. its my fault. maybe i let myself dwell on my mistakes so long that i convinced myself that i could never be good for anyone. thats the one thing that completely scares the shit out of me... the fact that maybe.. just maybe i'm not good enough for anyone... maybe no one will ever want me again. i hope that this is just a feeling that maybe possible i'll be proved wrong.. because although i'm having better days... this is the one thing that never went away.
1 comment:
Your already good enough. Theres no need to go around looking for someone to accept you. Aren't you who you are? Then who can come around and say otherwise? You make up Kait. There is not another life form on this entire planet that can make up you. Only you can be you. Your heartbeat and facial features are unique for just you. No one can be as good or as different as you are. Your Kait. Who can be Kait? I know your good enough, because your you and everyone is who they are. Horrific things have caused and affected you greatly. And so has that person that your going to meet in the future whoever that may be. Yeah pain and hurt changes you but into someone Unique and different. Someone will come, and see you for who you are. keep in there
Post a Comment